I shall refer to the autistic brain v PNT brain as I believe this removes the personal aspect and reduces the added complexities that often obstruct the sharing of my insight.
I support and prefer the idea of self identify when it comes to autism.
There are arguments over ‘Disability’ and ‘Disorder’
I see autism - not as a disorder but a neurological difference.
My reasoning- autistic people looking for acceptance yet constantly being invited to believe they are disordered- the power of words - Neuro linguistic programming -words hold weight - they directly influence what value people hold about themselves and others.
The PNT brain - has a filter - a value laden symbolic web/filter. This means from the top down thinking and not seeing each situation as unique or a blank page.
The Autistic brain - no filter, from the ground up thinking - taking people at face value. I decide on who I like based on how they engage with me and not because they hold ‘value’ in the PNT hierarchy - I believe that is where things likely go wrong. I strongly suspect a balance of PNT and ND brains would drastically improve the current state of affairs that we all find ourselves. The autistic brain sees what the PNT brain can't and vice versa. Team work would make the dream work or at least move towards the dream.
When it comes to the medicalisation of neurodiversity - insisting on a diagnosis I believe this leaves autistic people open to harm. My reasoning for this being -
Not all professionals are the best in their trade. The term professional should not automatically leave right of passage to assume that they are implicitly adept - yes -give them an opportunity to prove to you their capabilities but if something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't.
The assumption of competence as many may be aware can lead to catastrophic outcomes - The professional may have the relevant qualifications and registration/licence …
But let's apply that same logic to the driving license - lots of people have a licence to drive a car but not everyone is a skilled driver, some folks have talent and others have to work at it consistently and when they don’t - it shows.
Apply this to the diagnostic process
The waiting lists are arduous (2yrs + depending on your postcode), distressing because there is no knowing how long there is left to wait. You can feel like your life is on hold until the day arrives and then having to recall and disclose past events can be incredibly distressing and traumatic and all in a bid to gain that diagnosis. The loss of control, your future is left in the hands of someone you’ve likely never met relying on the aptitude of your assessor to decide which way your life will go.
- If you’re relying on that to find the answers to your life and they wrongly say you’re not autistic - when actually you are (which happened to me) where does that leave the autistic person? I can tell you it wasn’t a win for me.
Once you have that diagnosis it doesn't always lead to support. The application for support doesn’t always require a diagnosis but a justification of how you struggle and why you need support which has to be articulated in a way that specifically matches their rigid criteria so not only is this stressful but it is also discriminatory of those who don't have a good command of spoken or written English.
Imo once you realise you're autistic it’s best to connect with the autistic community on social media, have an OT (Occupational Therapist) assessment by a ND OT with at least level 3 in sensory integration who can help you identify your unique individual needs and create a plan that meets your individual unique needs.
for those supporting autistic people -
Always meet need on an individual basis -
Don't assume you've met one autistic person and can accommodate all autistic people in the same way. We are human, unique characters with individual needs.
Stop pathologising - start empowering.
An eating disorder is something that needs addressing because it's harmful to the person experiencing the ED and is not an intrinsic part of who that person is.
Autism is not a disorder. It's not harmful to the autistc person, the thing that is harmful is when we are placed in environments that can't and don't meet our needs with expectations placed on us that never belonged to us in the first place.
I liken this to pet owners who humanise their pets - they think they are doing right when in reality the pet is likely distressed by the 'kindness'.
Imo balance is essential in all walks of life. When the scale tips either way the outcome is rarely good - take global warming and terrorism.
When conflict occurs it can be a result of being given new information that we are not prepared for or it rocks our sense of what we know to be correct. Like the nerves we feel at the thought of a new job/ new school.
I love this analogy- when red and black ants are out in the same jar they don't fight - they only fight when the jar is shaken. With this in mind we all need to ask ourselves- who’s shaking the jar.
the stoking of division could be down to misunderstandings, lack of experience and knowledge or just the familiarity of ‘drama’ and the ‘hit of adrenaline’ that brings.
Familiarity and safety should never be confused - if you’re familiar with being bullied it doesn’t mean it’s safe for you to return to those situations.
Conflict is imo only human. Not specific to any one person - what we need to consider is - the importance of updating our software and always asking ourselves how helpful our input is. Just like emotions - all emotions are valid - as long as we express them safely for ourselves and those around us.
It’s ok to make mistakes - the most successful people made the most mistakes to get to where they are.
Behaviour is communication. Communication is not exclusive to humans. David Attenborough made a fabulous career out of observing animal behaviours.
Try not to place so much value on the written or spoken word. Only 10% of what we say is taken on board the other 90% is non verbal, body language, facial expressions and utterances. This is why so much information gets lost in translation when we don't share the same 'language'.
Autistic people stim, all humans stim. Let’s list a few well known human stims:
Laughing,
Crying
Yawning
Foot tapping
Pen clicking.
Behaviour that some one has not seen before is bound to attract attention - it’s our primitive brain response designed to keep us safe. Once we realise that ‘new threat’ is not a threat our brain filters that out and it becomes background noise.
If humans were accepted as nature intended and the differences that don’t harm others not pathologised then we would all benefit. Don’t you think?